Dan Trathen DMin, PhD Clinical Psychologist & Certified Business & Life Coach

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Sex Gone Wild

The fifth is distorting sex. We think of sex as duty or as dirty and use it as a reward or as a punishment. We expect a perfect sexual response, or become inconsiderate and crude with one another and never share tenderness or emotional intimacy without intercourse.

These five negative patterns are signs of erosion […]

Marriage Gone Wild

The fourth is to allow our imagination to run wild resulting in creative jealousy. We build mountains out of molehills or take what may be a small issue and magnify it out of proportion. We allow our imaginations to go unchecked and to come up with wild, unfounded situations. We don’t allow our partner to […]

Making Problem Solving a Problem

The third is to make a problem out of problem solving. We pick the most inconvenient times possible to discuss problems or bring up an issue which has made us angry when we’re sure our partner doesn’t have time to respond. We overload the conversation with more than one issue until the initial conflict gets […]

Hindering Marital Communication

The second is to hinder communication. Instead of asking how our partner feels about something we try to read their mind. We become masters at negatively interpreting what our spouse is saying. We learn to overreact, raise our voice and volume as we escalate. We tend to criticize our spouse, create defensiveness and turn the […]

Expecting the Impossible in Marriage

The first is to expect the impossible. We expect our partner to like everything that we like, like every person we like, and enjoy all the same activities we enjoy. We expect that we will never again feel lonely now that we are married. We expect our spouse to always understand our feelings and moods. […]

Erosion in Marriage

It seems like everything these days is being blamed on El Nino or La Nina. I heard the other day that a couple was blaming their marriage problems on the frequent storms hitting California. Their real relational problems were not revealed, but it seemed that the erosion of their marriage didn’t just happen overnight. Undoubtedly, […]

Trusting Hope

Third is trust or having confidence in our beliefs. For example, many have confidence in their abilities to overcome life’s adversities. Others may have a faith in God and therefore are hopeful not only in the outcome, but also in life. Still others may have hope in another person’s abilities to succeed. In other words, […]

Emotional Hope

Second is the emotional aspect. Hopeful individuals evaluate their feelings in light of their anticipated outcome. They have assurance regarding the ability, strength, or genuineness of someone or something. This is not a state of denial, but rather the process of refocusing emotions so they don’t get too far off track. It is common knowledge […]

Mental Hope

The experience of hope has several aspects. First is the mental component. Hopeful individuals are more optimistic in their thinking. When confronted with a happy or a difficult situation, they look for the “pros and cons”. They tend to evaluate the situation in light of their personal or professional goals rather than “jumping to negative […]

Man’s search for meaning

In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl wrote that the “loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect on man.” Winston Churchill is recorded as experiencing this sense of dimmed vision when he said, “I am an old man. I have lived a long time. I have never seen days like […]