Dan Trathen DMin, PhD Clinical Psychologist & Certified Business & Life Coach

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Making Problem Solving a Problem

The third is to make a problem out of problem solving. We pick the most inconvenient times possible to discuss problems or bring up an issue which has made us angry when we’re sure our partner doesn’t have time to respond. We overload the conversation with more than one issue until the initial conflict gets lost in the shuffle and both of us are so angry that we give up out of exasperation, become stubborn, and refuse to resolve or compromise. We make up our mind from the beginning that our way of handling the situation is the only acceptable one. We sidetrack the discussion by getting angry, crying, personalizing, or blaming, or leave the discussion up in the air by saying, “we’ll see, maybe, I don’t want to talk about it, etc.,” and then never come back to discussing it until it gets thrown into the next argument.

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