Dan Trathen DMin, PhD Clinical Psychologist & Certified Business & Life Coach

Man’s search for meaning

In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl wrote that the “loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect on man.” Winston Churchill is recorded as experiencing this sense of dimmed vision when he said, “I am an old man. I have lived a long time. I have never seen days like […]

Deflecting Conflict and Insults- Step 3

Step 3 Bring Kindness into Cruelty

Intimidators need to be encouraged to focus their attention inward instead of blaming or ridiculing. This is essential when cutting remarks are an expression of anger. In moments of confusion, people can be redirected to change negative habits.

Deflecting conflicts and insults exercises your mind and can be more […]

Deflecting Conflict and Insults-Step 2

Step 2 Change “Put-Downs” to “Put-Ups”

Change put-downs into put-ups and act as if nothing offensive is happening. This is based on the idea that it is worse to take offense than to give offense. Meanness can be turned into kindness when you:

1. Agree in fact, in theory, or hypothetically to stop power struggles.


Deflecting Conflict and Insults

Step1 Learn Verbal Karate;

Conflict is inevitable, but when you are caught off guard by a verbal side swipe, wounds can cut especially deep. Rude remarks may come from misguided efforts to enhance self-esteem by making others look bad. It may be a cry for attention, or generalized anger that is taken out on […]

Guiding Lessons of Life

All of us have had teachers in life that have been memorable for one reason or another. When I was in 11th grade, we had a study hall teacher whom we called “Mrs. Proverbs” because she would walk down the rows of chairs to ensure we were studying, and if we weren’t she’d say, “an […]