Dan Trathen DMin, PhD Clinical Psychologist & Certified Business & Life Coach

Pre-Marital Coaching

Pre-Marital Coaching

Divorce and marital dissatisfaction are experienced by couples in all cultural, socioeconomic, and geographical areas. For example, newlyweds in the United States face a 40% likelihood of getting divorced in the first year of marriage, and overall, four out of ten first marriages end in divorce (National Center for Health Statistics). Numerous other couples never divorce but live in distressed and/or abusive relationships. It has been estimated that among marriages that do not end in divorce, 50% are unhappy and only 10% of married couples remain consistently satisfied in their relationship.

Marital dissatisfaction also bears potential ramifications for children. How couples communicate and handle conflict even before they have children has been found to predict levels of self-esteem and attachment in their children four to six years later.

Pre-marital and marital relationship adjustment is a process. To guide engaged couples through that process, Dr. Dan Trathen has published A Christian Pre-Marital Manual. This manual is a comprehensive, self-paced coaching program that can be supplemented by face-to-face sessions, premarital intensives or by conference telephone or video conferencing..

In addition, Dr. Trathen offers personality assessments for couples contemplating marriage, as well as individual coaching and couples coaching. These services help each member of the couple better understand themselves and their relationship style.

Relationship Adjustment

Couples experiencing relational adjustment actively work at their relationship through exchanging positive behaviors, and reinforcing positive behaviors they receive from their partner. They have a confidence in each other and their relationship. This necessitates being direct in both communication and conflict resolution. In such a relationship, couples may not always experience high levels of satisfaction, but they are committed to loving each other and meeting each other’s needs.

Dr. Dan Trathen’s Christian Pre-Marital Manual guides couples through a self-paced coaching program that includes these topics:

  • expectations in marriage
  • establishing marriage goals
  • maintaining intimacy
  • understanding communication and conflict resolution in marriage
  • marital roles
  • sex in marriage

Each session suggests reading and homework assignments. Coaching on any or all topics is available via face to face or via telephone. One-day intensive Pre-Marital Coaching sessions can be scheduled in our Parker Colorado office.

The Challenge for Today’s Couples

Today more than ever, it is important for a couple to prepare themselves for marriage well before their wedding day. A couple must set expectations for the marriage and each other in all aspects of their lives together: communication, finances, sex, children, lifestyle, time together, independence, religion, etc. Not doing so can result in conflict, depression, and other “irreconcilable differences” that so often result in unhappy marriages or divorce.

Call Dr. Dan today for your premarital coaching appointment at 303-593-0575. Relationships can be a challenge at times. Starting a love relationship is one thing, maintaining and growing a relationship is another matter. We all have needs and expectations of how we want to be loved. When our expectations are not met we can become hurt, frustrated and angry. These feelings are very real to us. We don’t feel cared for, respected or loved during these times and we can lash out at our partner or store these feelings and look at our partner though an ever increasing clouded filter. Some of us fall into invalidating each other. Others withdraw and avoid discussing issues. Frankly, we have learned some unhealthy habits and patterns of relating. As we maintain these negative habits we find that they don’t work and neither does our relationship. We wonder, how we got to such a negative place and how can we get to a better one? Understanding the issues and patterns is a good place to start.

  • Increased disagreements and arguing
  • Periods of prolonged silence
  • Mind reading each other’s intentions
  • Negatively interpreting each other’s words and motives
  • Increased conflict accompanied by diminished efforts to resolve issues
  • Discouragement, disillusionment, and decreased confidence that your relationship will make it
  • A decreased feeling of “safety” to be vulnerable with your partner
  • A fear of being ridiculed privately or publicly
  • A lack of trust, respect and love in your relationship
  • A lack of forgiveness and letting go of relationship issues

If in your relationship you are experiencing any or all of these 10 issues, call. Dr. Dan at 303-593-0575 and he will call you back and discuss the next steps with you. Commit to build your relationship road map today. Life has enough challenges, build your relationship into a safe haven of love.