Dan Trathen DMin, PhD Clinical Psychologist & Certified Business & Life Coach

Our Expectations of a Perfect Friend

Robert Lewis Stevenson wrote, “All men have their frailties, and whoever looks for a friend without imperfection will never find what he seeks.”  All of us have a variety of expectations for friendship.  We all have an “internal measuring stick” whereby we compare and contrast one with another.  Establishing a lasting friendship necessitates that we take a close look at our biggest frailty – unrealistic expectations of perfection.

Sometimes those unrealistic expectations are a real stumbling block to forming friendships. 

Establishing a friendship is an important process that cannot withstand a lot of inconsistency and change.  If we seek to begin a friendship without giving ourselves to it, we may appear to be “all take and no give”. We might only want a relationship for how it will make us feel or look, but then we may end up with nothing but loneliness. 

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